And yes, his name really is Jason Stackhouse, get over it. And we really are working on a screenplay together, this isn't how we spend all our collaboration time. Just you know, most of it.
Don't worry, I'll return you to actual content soon. Probably when the double-shot wears off.
(CLICK post title to read conversation)
Jason: AWAY. call or text if urgent. me: THE WORLD IS FULL OF BEES
...is that urgent enough to call or text about?
11:13 AM Jason: Well. If true, I'd like to know.
me: oh, it's true. dangerously, horrifically true.
they're usually invisible, though
Jason: Then go ahead, phone's on.
And stay inside.
me: ah fuck. people in the cafe looking at me as if i were insane, again.
AS IF. stop looking at me. asshole. i'm trying to save humanity here.
11:15 AM This could be the basis of an inside-expose type of story. "The secret lives of writers. I know they think we just sit around and talk about grammar, but REALLY..."
11:16 AM Jason: Yeah. Well, bees are serious business.
I'd prefer to talk about syntax and hot bitches, but priorities, you know?
me: one day, in woodstock, i was approached by a man who told me that he knew i was a good person, because his invisible bees hadn't attacked me yet.
11:17 AM that's the "backstory" on the invisible bees thing. though i guess in a literary sense backstory is supposed to add something to the story, and that clearly didn't.
so i guess if i had an editor, they'd be bitching at me now.
11:18 AM Jason: Sure would.
Or, lacking one, I'm available.
11:19 AM INVISIBLE BEES DO NOT ADD DRAMA
Well.
They would.
me: They would-
If I was a "bad person," apparently.
I guess that's why you don't see many flawless protagonists in stories.
11:20 AM Jason: They may actually be on staff in Hollywood.
me: Good, we've discovered one of the important rules of fiction writing.
Jason: Kill da bees?
11:21 AM Or, kill da killah beez, as the kids say.
11:23 AM me: Then there's the Wu Tang Killer Bees thing. Which, honestly, I don't understand either.
I'm happy we've had this conversation. It cleared a lot up for me, frankly.
;D
11:24 AM Jason: Just, stay inside, huh?
11:25 AM You can't see the fuckers coming.
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