Wednesday, March 24, 2010

THIS R SRS BIZNESS: with co-writer Jason Stackhouse

In which we discuss some of the finer points of literary theory. (Or maybe I'm just posting this to piss off you True Blood fans that are presently googling in hopes of finding some tid-bit of info on the forthcoming season. Spoiler alert: Bill was kidnapped by Raelians.)

And yes, his name really is Jason Stackhouse, get over it. And we really are working on a screenplay together, this isn't how we spend all our collaboration time. Just you know, most of it. 

Don't worry, I'll return you to actual content soon. Probably when the double-shot wears off.
(CLICK post title to read conversation)

Jason: AWAY. call or text if urgent. me: THE WORLD IS FULL OF BEES that urgent enough to call or text about?
11:13 AM Jason: Well. If true, I'd like to know.
 me: oh, it's true. dangerously, horrifically true. 
  they're usually invisible, though
 Jason: Then go ahead, phone's on.
  And stay inside.
 me: ah fuck. people in the cafe looking at me as if i were insane, again.
  AS IF. stop looking at me. asshole. i'm trying to save humanity here.  
11:15 AM This could be the basis of an inside-expose type of story. "The secret lives of writers. I know they think we just sit around and talk about grammar, but REALLY..."
11:16 AM Jason: Yeah. Well, bees are serious business.
  I'd prefer to talk about syntax and hot bitches, but priorities, you know?
 me: one day, in woodstock, i was approached by a man who told me that he knew i was a good person, because his invisible bees hadn't attacked me yet.
11:17 AM that's the "backstory" on the invisible bees thing. though i guess in a literary sense backstory is supposed to add something to the story, and that clearly didn't.
  so i guess if i had an editor, they'd be bitching at me now.
11:18 AM Jason: Sure would.
  Or, lacking one, I'm available.
  They would.
 me: They would-
  If I was a "bad person," apparently.
  I guess that's why you don't see many flawless protagonists in stories. 
11:20 AM Jason: They may actually be on staff in Hollywood.
 me: Good, we've discovered one of the important rules of fiction writing.
 Jason: Kill da bees?
11:21 AM Or, kill da killah beez, as the kids say.
11:23 AM me: Then there's the Wu Tang Killer Bees thing. Which, honestly, I don't understand either.
  I'm happy we've had this conversation. It cleared a lot up for me, frankly.
11:24 AM Jason: Just, stay inside, huh?
11:25 AM You can't see the fuckers coming.

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