Tuesday, June 15, 2010

post-modern marriage myths 2

From an ongoing conversation about our upcoming wedding. Thought I'd share a snippet...

"Marriage itself, stripped of that element and any ideas of possession - is the desire to make continuity out of discontinuity. I'm not especially fixated on whether or not it can be broken - I know all too well from past experience that everything eventually succumbs to entropy in one way or another - it is the ongoing intent, the will, to unite different elements within the circle of "a marriage." To bring that about some things may need to be sacrificed, though again, not so cut and dry as traditional values would imply. Nevertheless, anything brought into one part of the circle effects other parts of it, for better or worse, and the results of that are shared so long as that striving towards unity is stronger than the forces that bring about discontinuity. Even the words "divorce" and "marriage" imply this. The circle is so primal and universal of a symbol that it might seem a bit too general for this but at it's most simple I think marriage is simply "casting a circle." Whatever is brought inside the confines of that figure become a part of ones center of personal concern.

I'm not sure if this provides an entry point for you. I am sure a lot of people would consider that too philosophical to be meaningful. My rebuttal would be that they may not think about the terms and rituals they're using (parroting) enough to give them any particular meaning whatsoever."


  1. so weird. I've been having the exact same thoughts lately, on marrying and having a family. Most of the times, when it doesn't work, it seems, indeed, that it has something to do with the fact that either half or the whole of the couple has not fully acknowledged the meaning of what it means to be married. Or maybe, that they're not willing to go on with the sacrifice anymore.

    everything's a ritual...

  2. Other than the legal rights it imparts, I've found marriage to be extraneous. I don't need a license to show my love.

    Some people insist on calling my boyfriend of 10 years my husband. I don't mind if it makes them more comfortable, but I do find it entertaining that they feel the need to categorize us that way.

  3. Aside from the ritualistic element, I agree.

    Also see: http://www.modernmythology.net/2009/12/post-modern-marriage-myths.html



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